oh-mother-of-darkness:

The complete list of punishable offenses committed inside Wayne Manor, March 2016:

  • came in from the gym, removed sweat-soaked workout shirt, threw it at an unsuspecting sibling
  • hid an illicit firearm inside an empty box of pop-tarts, forgot to pick it up before leaving the house (note: firearm was discovered several weeks later by a sibling searching for a midnight snack) (further note: sibling seemed more upset by the lack of pop-tarts than the presence of a weapon)
  • provoked a hack-war by repetitively changing the wifi password, passive-aggressively renaming the network
  • eavesdropped on a private conversation (note: guilty parties were discovered after an unsympathetic sibling came up behind them and muttered “hey Siri,” loudly activating both their phones)
  • number of hot pockets consumed in a twenty-four hour period > number of hours slept
  • changed the batcomputer’s screensaver to a close-up of Hal Jordan’s face
  • whispered “I can’t believe I signed up for this” during a particularly dramatic family discussion
  • challenged a sibling to a duel
  • accepted a sibling’s challenge to duel
  • attempted to start a betting pool on the outcome of siblings’ duel

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